Goals are good. So good, in fact, that Jill and I share around four thousand of them. Interestingly, many of these aspirations have fallen to the wayside in favor of accomplishing other more important things including (but not limited to): graduating, moving out of our college town, getting jobs...etc. I’ll admit, finishing school was a good idea, and we are quite proud that we did, but things never slowed down after school and it has felt as though the circumstances have taken charge while life is passing quicker and with less intent than either of us would prefer.
Everything is going decently well, on paper, with the jobs, friends, house, and general acceptance of all our new responsibilities (maybe not my parents’ yard so much) but there is still this overwhelming sense that we didn’t make any of our choices all the way, or rather, on purpose. Without even realizing it, Jill and I fell into a routine with way too many moving parts, and a lot of extra components that just feel… Superfluous, and both of us keep feeling as though we need to hit pause, rewind, or maybe even reset, on this whole thing, just to get a better look at how things wound up like this.
Perhaps an analogy would be helpful here. Jill used to have this BMW and it was pretty fun to drive. Sometimes. When that car broke down, it was a massive pain to fix. Parts had to be shipped in, and then there was always a sensor out to accompany whatever other issues were present. Ultimately the car offered little excitement when compared to all the worry it caused. Essentially, I would much prefer my life to operate less like that BMW, and more like a bicycle. Bicycles are great. They are efficient, affordable, and easy to fix; a nice bike will last a lifetime. Plus, if you take good care of your body, a bike can be quite exhilarating! I have come to see the lifestyle we are developing down here in Tacoma as something like a Prius. More reliable than the BMW, but still not as simple as my dads old Schwinn (and still conducive to a McDonalds problem).
Many weeks ago, in a different post about our feelings, Jill mentioned the trip where we finally committed to a year long escapade. Driving to Medford in our Prius ended up being an incredible vacation. Not only did we get a solid 24 hours of giggling and heckling each other, but this was when we both realized our need to make good on the promise of travel. Everything after that was a bit of a whirlwind; we bought our car, made some plans, started crunching numbers. But it wasn’t til a few nights ago at a divey bar in the darker part of Tacoma (very close to a community theater) that we really discussed what we were traveling for.
Traveling can be easy, but we will have to uproot ourselves and even some other people just to leave the country, and in general living for more than a year abroad will require some big changes, so we both wanted to have a meaningful conversation about what some of our intents behind the trip would be.What we both determined is that from our travels we would like to find a feeling of clarity and perspective. We like how we are living so far, no regrets, but there lots things we do that we either do not understand, or do not see alternatives for, and we hope to examine this from further away so that we can bring more intention into our life.
We may not need to change a thing, but ultimately the parts of our life that we could change are parts which we had a hand in creating, and in order to design a better lifestyle for our future, we must gain new perspective. Pause. Rewind. Reset.